MY FIRST LOVE

Your smell is like a drug to me…my personal brand of heroin.

[This blog contains hot and spicy materials. Readers are advised to sit in a cool place wearing light-weight pure cotton cloths and keep an ice bag handy for emergency.]

I don’t remember when we met for the first time. I was too young to remember anything…..

Yes, it’s a childhood love story. It started, when I didn’t even know what love is. He was not that tall, lean-bodied or conventionally handsome. But he had a very cute, lovely face. Every time I saw him, I used to die a hundred deaths.

He was a part of my life, a cause of my existence. My days were incomplete without him. A responsible, caring sweetheart he was, he was always concerned about my health, about what I eat. He made it a routine to be with me during every meal. I was so used to him. If some day I couldn’t see him, I used to go crazy. I used to cry like hell…

I was madly in love with him…

My mom knew everything about our affair from the very first day. And needless to say, she was against us. I don’t understand why parents have to play spoilsport in a love story. Is it a rule mentioned in parental guidelines? Then why almost in each and every love story they become the villains?

My cutie was really lovable. Even my mom liked him but she was not ready to let her daughter fall in love with a farm-boy. He was not in our social status. He used to stay in a far away village. Every morning he used to come to the city with his uncle who was a vegetable vendor, to earn some extra for his family. But it was hardly a matter for me. When you love someone, you don’t see his social or financial status. You cannot calculate your steps when you like someone. It just happens. But neither my mom nor my dad was ready to accept that. They wanted me to break up with him.

One day my sweetie came to know about it. I don’t know how he has felt. But knowing him for so many years, I knew it was very tough for him to come to any decision. He never wanted to steal me from my parents. Because he knew I love my parents too.

But I didn’t want to lose him either. I couldn’t imagine a life without him. Neither could I hurt my parents. I didn’t know what to do. I was feeling so helpless…

One day our family physician visited us. He saw me upset and wanted to know what happened. I couldn’t control anymore and told him everything. He gently wiped my tears and told me something which I have never heard, something which changed my perspective towards love.

You don’t need to be with your loved ones all the time to show your affection towards them. Love is an emotion and physical proximity has nothing to do with emotions. You can be miles apart from your beloved, but you can be inseparably bonded with him in your mind. If the society doesn’t approve, then you should not go ahead to give your emotions a reality; because you cannot ignore your society. If you truly love someone, don’t be defensive about him; let him go. If you still feel the same attraction towards him, you’ll know then and there, that your love is eternal.

This realization opened my eyes. I felt light, I felt happy. Now I don’t feel bad if he doesn’t turn up once or twice. But whenever I see him, I feel overjoyed. My feeling towards him has only become stronger.

My love towards him is eternal……

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My first love…..

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POTATO!!!!!!!! :) :) :)

STEPPING INTO ADULTHOOD

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Once upon a time, 26 summers ago, a married couple in Kolkata was expecting their first child. It was an ordinary, bright, sunny Sunday afternoon. Oblivious to the world outside that Bengali middle class family the couple belongs to, a new life was born…..

It was a girl. A cute little baby doll……..sleeping most of the time, waking up only to eat and play, before sleeping off again.

Days pass by, the baby grows up. Daddy’s little princess she is, busy all day to maintain law and order in her tiny kingdom. She has to make sure her toy-army is stuffed with tasty food and colourful dresses, her castle remains distinctively decorated with paints, papers, cloths all the time. And even after all such hard work, when the mommy-monster attacks her, she has to run for cover to her most trusted minister – her daddy….

The little girl now goes to school. Her first step away from her own little world was not so smooth though. She was hiding behind her daddy; holding his leg with all her strength, crying inconsolably. The poor teacher couldn’t lure her to the classroom. On her very first day to school, she bunked all the classes and came back home sitting on her daddy’s lap, eyes reddened, still sobbing.

Time heals wounds. Time makes people braver every passing day, to face the new challenge on the next sunrise. So, now the girl is braver too. She is no more afraid of school. She has found a new set of human beings over there. They are not like her parents, not like her uncles, aunts, grandma and grandpa. They are more like her – her size, her age, her mentality. They are her friends. Now she spends most of her time with them. But still, when her mom gets late to pick her up from school, when her relatives ask her to stay with them for a few days, her eyes sodden, she feels insecure. One thing she knows for sure; no matter how old she gets, she can never be independent, she can never stay away from her parents.

As per Indian constitution, people turn into adult on their 18^th birthday. Not defying the law, our little girl also grows up to an adult on her 18^th summer on this earth. She has finished her school and now she goes to college. College – an institution that brings out the woman inside a girl, the man inside a boy.

Three years of college was a roller-coaster ride. It started with a great enthusiasm and got over within a blink of eye. The girl did many things within these three years. She learned as much slang as she has not learned over the last 18 years; she learned to spend hours in front of the mirror which she has never done before; she neglected her studies to be with her friends and screwed up in exams which she could not even dream of doing earlier; and she learned a new game to play – gazing at men. She had a very lively gang of girls. They used to bunk classes together, hang around together and do mischief together. Twice a week, they used to attain a coaching class after college hours. Those 45 minutes of bus journey from college to coaching class was a joyride. They used to make fun of everything, giggle at everything and gaze at every good-looking boy around. Once they went to extreme. They kept on staring at a guy for so long that he felt very uncomfortable and got down from the bus way before his scheduled stop!

College ended like a sudden break and the girl stepped into university – a place from where one can see one’s future universe. The girl saw hers and one fine morning, she boarded a train to Trivandrum to build up her future, leaving everything behind. It was a summer Sunday again – an ordinary, bright, sunny Sunday.

The girl is an I.T. professional now. She lives in an unknown city with unknown people all by herself. Now she cooks – though at home, her culinary skill was limited to preparing chowmin occasionally; now she doesn’t need her mom to tie up her hair or to wear ear rings; she can do it herself. She earns well enough to ride a plane a month, which she could only dream when she was a child.

But………..

Something is missing………….many things are missing……….

She can no longer fight with her brother to be the driver of the bus they used to drive as children; she cannot wait for her mom to sleep off during summer holiday afternoons to steal the pickles jar and then get caught and beaten up; she cannot bunk classes, neglect studies, make fun and giggle and neglect everything as if the world outside her friend circle doesn’t exist. She cannot do all these things and many more – because she is no longer a girl……..she has grown up into a woman.

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Daddy’s little princess I was, I have finally stepped into adulthood – 8 years after my 18^th birthday…………………………..